She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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