Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
