So drunk its hurt
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
