I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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