If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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