When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
