so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
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