I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
