she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize