rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
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