i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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