Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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