you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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