I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
