Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize