Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
