All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
