have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
