I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
