if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
