Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
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