So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize