Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
