atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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