Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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