I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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