i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
