you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
