doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just cropdusted the office
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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