we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
