I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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