1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize