I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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