bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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