Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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