And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
