i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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