She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
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Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
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On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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