She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
