Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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