I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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