laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
