Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
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I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
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