there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
