Will you blow on my dice?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I wish you could order shots online.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
