i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize