I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
