Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
