That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
she told me i tasted like america
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize