Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
