Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
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Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
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Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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