He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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