u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
you made out with another girl for some wings
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
