she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
