i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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