dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
