I CAN MOONWALK!
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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