New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
